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After growing up listening to parents and teachers and youth pastors and Sunday school teachers tell me I can do and be whatever I want, the idea that now I’m supposed to willingly keep myself in second place simply because I walked down the aisle and said “I do” to someone else seems a little ridiculous.
On Earning: “Never depend on one single income. Make investments to create a second source.”
On Spending: “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
On Savings: “Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.”
On Taking Risks: “Never test the depth of the river with both feet.”
On Investing: “Do not put all of your eggs in one basket.”
On Expectations: “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.”
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Haven’t we all been to the Waiting Place a few times? Recently, I’ve been spending some time there, waiting on something much more important than my hair to grow or the snow to snow (I live in the South, so we never have to wait for that!). And you know what? I hate it. I hate waiting.
Saying that I lack patience would be an understatement. Waiting makes me fidgety, nervous, and grouchy. I get annoyed if my email takes more than 3 seconds to load, and I’m notorious for burning my tongue because I just can’t let my food cool. As a type-A person, I tend to live life in a hurry.
Becoming a wife has given me daily opportunities to practice patience. It takes twice as long to get ready to go somewhere (at least!). As my fiancee is learning to perform small tasks around the house, I’m learning to practice stepping back and taking a deep breath to allow him to accomplish something on his own that I could do much faster myself.
I find that those little daily exercises in waiting are useful in bigger things, too. As Joni Eareckson Tada says, “The times we find ourselves having to wait on others may be the perfect opportunities to train ourselves to wait on the Lord.” Life always involves waiting. Maybe you’re waiting to hear about a job, waiting to find out if this is the month you’re finally pregnant, waiting for your husband to become a Christian, or waiting until the day your children can finally go an afternoon without fighting. Maybe you’re like me and a stoplight feels like hours to you, so weeks or months of waiting feel like eternity.
It is tempting to feel that waiting is an in-between season of life, a place to get through as quickly as possible. But let me encourage you not to waste your waiting. When we wait, the Lord often teaches us more than when we arrive at whatever it was we were waiting for. It is in the Waiting Place that God stretches our faith, refines our character, and often does His most sanctifying work. Waiting is not an in-between stage. It is a season all its own, and one that can be a blessing or a drudgery, depending on how we respond.
We can tap our feet and look at our watches and sigh, but we will miss out on what the Lord may have in store for us now. Or, we can live here, in this moment that God has given, with joy and thanksgiving.
God is a God of patience. He is patient with us, as Psalm 145:8 reminds us: “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”
He is also patient to accomplish His purposes: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
God is not in a hurry. Whatever your circumstances, whatever the reason for your waiting, remember that He is not panicked about them. He knows the outcome, and He can be trusted with it.